Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Visiting

I've included this clip from YouTube because it is a piece of music that I've enjoyed for a long time. I like the quiet feeling that it invokes, the peacefulness of the music. The tune touches my heart and I feel a desire to sit in front of a candle and watch the flame flicker and dance because of a draft in the room. The title of the song speaks to me, Visiting.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about visiting, only I have not been thinking of it in the same term that I think of the title of this song. Recently I visited a dear friend of mine. I had not seen her in a while, but have spoken to her on the phone. She is an elegant lady, snowy white hair that is beautifully coiffed. She has a refined style of dress, simple with little jewelry. All about her makes me think that I'd like to be like her when I grow up. (That was a borrowed statement from a mutual friend.) I would like to be like her when I grow up, yet each of us have our own style, our own personality and while she and I enjoy one another's personality we will never be the same.

During our recent visit we talked about many things, she is a wonderful communicator, she knows how to draw a person out and asks the questions that makes one think about their lives, their philosophy and dare I say goals. I say, “dare I say goals,” because I have always said that I don't have goals, that I have destinations. A person who is goal oriented, in my humble opinion, tends to do what they believe needs to be done in order to achieve their goal. This often means that they will step over any body lying along side the path to get there, they often have a narrowed vision, one that sets the goal before them with nothing else on their mind but the goal. I myself prefer to think of myself as a destination minded person, there are places that I want to get to but I realize that more than one path will take me there. My terminology differs in that along the journey there is much to learn, gleaning to do, and a broader vision. Now, I don't think that there are hard and fast rules about these statements, as a destination minded person I have chosen to keep an open mind about such things and I understand that there are surely those goal oriented who do not have a narrowed vision, though they may not exactly be taking the same kind of journey to the goal. If any of that made sense to you, please let me know and explain it to me. (Actually, I get it.)

My host engaged me in a discussion regarding my decision to change churches in December. She asked a question that I didn't quite expect and have never been asked before, one that I was able to answer without much thought. My answer came quickly, but not with a knee jerk response. (From here in I'll call her Grace, because she is and she needs a name.) “I was pulled to this place by God, led may be a better term, but I had a hard time giving up what had become treasure to me. I understand that there are times when we need to leave our treasure behind in order to find another. Sometimes we have to leave in order to find what God has in store for us, as difficult as it may be to do so, yet, I felt that it was a destination that I must travel to.”

Grace said that my answer was well thought out and yet came quickly, so I surely had given it some thought. I agreed that I had. It was her next question that made my balance tilt just a quarter bubble off plumb and yet it wasn't a question that I had difficulty answering either. She asked me what I was looking for when I went to church. Before I tell the answer let me say that I have been attending an Anglican church for nearly a year now. I felt a drawing to it even though it was far from my faith tradition. There are customs there that I embrace seeing a holiness in it that I found hard to find in the place that I left. When I arrive at church I join others who are kneeling in prayer, preparing their hearts and minds for worship, they look to the cross and possibly they are like me and see the symbol of our salvation. “Grace, I can answer that question as quickly as I answered your other. I attend church for two reasons and there are two things that I seek and I feel confident that I find them there, I can worship there, I can look with awe and wonder upon the body of our savior and offer my gratitude for the tremendous sacrifice that was made for me. I can worship through the symbols of the mass, those symbols being the visual reminders of what I believe. Yet, the equally important reason why I go is because I am seeking peace. Peace of heart, peace of mind, peace that permeates my very being, that peace that is often spoken of in the benediction, the “peace that passes all understanding.” that's what I look for. I think to seek that peace is to look upon the face of God.”

Grace smiled and shook her head, “we all go for different reasons, but I agree with you, those are the reasons to be there.” She followed by telling me that she felt that I am a spiritual person. I told her that I am just a regular man away from home.

When I am in the church, kneeling and praying I ask God for that very peace that passes all understanding. I ask him to fill my entire being with it. I often feel like a beggar visiting a home and begging for a crust of bread, and here I get it. I sometimes feel as though I am visiting the courts of praise and I express my gratitude for the opportunity to visit and to be allowed to sit at the feet of the king. Sometimes I go so far as to boldly ask to be allowed to visit in person soon so that I may know the permanent peace that comes with being in God's presence.

I shared with Grace that I recently lost the best friend that I've ever had, she smiled and said, “it isn't forever.” What wisdom, what grace. I know and fully understand what she said to me is true and is something that can be counted upon as truth, just as I can count upon the Gospel being true, soul food and comfort.

As I drove home from our visit I thought about what she said, “it isn't forever.” Right then, right there at the light at 86th and Michigan Road I agreed with her with passion that it isn't forever, that all of us are just visiting here, we are on loan by God, encouraged to travel to the destination that he has planned for us, taking whatever path the journey lays before us. I was reminded that we're are just visiting, some for a long time in order to teach those of us along the path and some are here on a visit of a short time, maybe they are teaching us as well, in fact, I know they are.

We are just visiting.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Pennies From Heaven

Some twenty nine years ago I met a man in the flower shop that I was working in who would visit and engage the owner of the shop in deep theological discussions. There were times when I was uncomfortable with the two of them debating the subjects that they chose. Looking back the discussions, made with great passion, were on subjects that really didn't matter in the true heavenly realm. I blamed part of it on their faith traditions. It's not important what they were, let's just say that they both came from rather fundamentalist backgrounds.

One day, someone said, “Good Grief,” in fact, the one who said it was me. Now, it should be noted that I was all of 19 when I said it, and I'm not from a fundamentalist faith tradition. One co-worker and my employer jumped me and said that grief was not good. The owners friend looked at me like I had blasphemed, though he knew that I hadn't. His faked aghast was for my sake. He didn't say anything in my defense though.

Later when he came in I heard another employee, thank God it wasn't me, say, “Good Luck!” to someone. Oh mercy, I've never heard such a dressing down. It was said, “there is no such thing as good luck, the Lord has all things in control and you cannot have luck, God doesn't believe in it.” The fellow fundamentalist suddenly proved that he wasn't going to be just a quiet observer in this case. Willy, he said, “I think it's okay to say, good luck, look at it from the standpoint that, Luck, Love and the Lord all come from the same place, God. I think that you need to let up a little. Your line about good grief seemed a bit hard nosed to me last week.” There was more debate and that was somewhat the end of the friend that came to debate all things theological.
I've long remembered those discussions, as you can tell. I've thought heavily on the statement of Good Luck, I think that Richard was right, Luck, Love and the Lord are somewhat the same. I see that God is in control, that I can't argue with, but, we tend to use the term luck in the vernacular of the day. Many of us understand that God is in control and that we don't have to rely upon luck. Love is of God, so that's easy.

Now, to be told that grief isn't good, this is where I have a real problem. We have learned over the years that grief is good for us. Of course there are times when it can be carried for too long, or is it? But when we know that there is no emotion that Jesus didn't experience on earth. His anger always comes to me first because of his action of turning the tables over in the temple because of the sales of sacrifice offerings, probably made with scrip that was good only in the temple. I think of his agony in the garden while facing his death, I think of the emotion that was surely moving through his heart in the upper room where he offered the last supper, I feel like he surely felt disappointment in Judas, that he must have felt the melancholy of knowing that he was eating a last meal with his closest friends on earth. Of course all of these things are conjecture about the last supper. One thing that we know for sure is that Jesus felt grief when his dear friend Lazarus died. When he got word of it he went to the tomb and wept. Remember that,”shortest verse” in the Bible? Jesus wept. That he wept tells all that we need to know, he experienced grief, just as we do.

I know many people who are grieving, I know that like Jesus they weep. I know that weeping can be good because it is a cleansing of our bodies, it helps us to wash the hurt from our eyes, ultimately. I've said recently that if our eyes are the windows of the soul, then tears are the Windex for those windows.

Now, a little more about Luck, Love and the Lord. We often hear superstitions and and fairy tales while we are growing up, take for instance, “Find a penny that's face up and all the day you'll have good luck.” There are times that a penny more is all that we need to complete a purchase, is that where the good luck comes in? You had the extra penny. I like the fairy tale associated with found pennies. Seems that when we find a penny it has been thrown from heaven by someone who is thinking about us, or who wants us to know that they are okay, that they are in paradise. Do I think that those pennies actually fall from heaven? No, I don't, but I like the story just as well. The tale goes on to say that you are to pick up the penny and throw it some distance so that when someone else comes along and finds it they might think that they have found a penny from heaven and will think on someone who has gone before them. Okay, this is where the story proves itself to be a fairy tale. By throwing the penny we know that it didn't fall from heaven, it fell from our hands to someone else's a little farther down the road.
I found a penny the other morning, it was face up. Now, I could have gone with the superstition and thought of it as good luck, but since I buy into the story that they are pennies from heaven, well, I like that idea, and I felt like I knew who would have thrown that penny down from heaven, if that was actually where it came from. I know it isn't true, the penny was laying in front of a gas pump, it was just a little change that didn't make it into someone's pocket.
The song that came out of the depression, Every Time it Rains it Rains Pennies From Heaven, makes me wonder if the tune might have been a reminder to some that they were being told my those who have gone before them that everything was going to be fine, that their grief, shoveled upon them by the government and the nation's economic problems were actually abated by pennies falling from heaven. No, I don't think so.

Isn't it comforting to know that Jesus proved that grief is good by showing it himself, and isn't there some comfort in knowing that when we find those pennies from heaven that it is our own mind telling us that someone is thinking of us from the heavens and that everything is okay?

Luck, Love and the Lord, maybe Richard had a better handle on it than many others do.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Looking on the Face of God

Having been in the floral industry for so many years I have had the opportunity that so many haven't. I've held many varieties of flowers and looked at the beauty in their faces.

I have clutched parrot tulips in my hands in the spring that were green and white with a touch of pink on them that looked as though it was whispered on. During the summer I've looked at the center of zinnias and marveled at how their centers seemed to bear another flower, blossoms among the blossoms. The autumn months have shown to me how very botanical the world can be, dogwood trees that wore a cross in the spring carries a berry to feed the birds. The colors of the autumn flowers become a rich tapestry. When winter comes and the cut ever greens are brought into the shop I am amazed at the silver fir, deep green on the facing surface, the back of the needles looks like polished silver.

I think there are no better fragrances in spring than the early paper white narcissus and the heavenly fragrance of the Easter Lilies are the true heralds of spring for me.

To have the opportunity to see the freckles on a Stargazer Lily is to see the freckles on an auburn headed child. The leggy petals of a John Storre orchid reminds me of the quick little spiders that run through the garden, no real threat to anyone, just momentary visitors. How can a person see a chartreuse Fuji Mum and not gasp at its vibrant color.

I have been blessed to look on these bits of nature and see the face of God and to stand in awe and and wonder at the works of his hands.

It causes me to think of family and friends and how they have become the eyes, ears and hands of God. Ever watching, listening and reaching out. I've see them a lot lately and just as it has been a blessing to look at the face of God's creation and see his face, I've been blessed in watching his eyes, ears and hands at work as well.

All of God's creation working together to make every facet of life beautiful, in the sunny days and in the stormy ones, as well as the days that are deeply covered in clouds. I have looked in the face of flowers and found comfort and I know the comfort that they provide for others.

In all these things, I have seen the face of God in the heavenly realm, as much as I have seen it on earth.